Wrapping up Shana Bet

This last shabbos was an amazing realization. Almost three years ago, I signed up to Shabbat.com, where I was welcomed to the most amazing family. Here, I fell in love with a living Judaism; An honest Judaism; A beautiful and colourful Judaism. I have always been a connected Jew, living for my Reform Jewish sleep away camp, youth group, Hebrew school, and Israel. But this family let me see a world of Judaism that was more than a Friday-night hobby. Through the help of this Rabbi, my brother, my family, my friends, my teachers, schools, and all the incredible people I have met along the way, I have made my Judaism a relationship between myself, my family and friends, and Hashem.

The speech given at the shabbos table, closely resembled the first speech I ever heard from my Rabbi. Ironically, my journey has now come full circle because this was the speech that made me reevaluate what Judaism meant to me and is what led me down a path of observance in 2010. While the speech used the same stories and had the same theme, I could not begin to explain the perfect and awesome power it cast over me this shabbos, once again. As a speaker from Ohr Naava once put it, "I don't come to hear something new; I come to hear something true." The emes [Truth] emitting from my Rabbi took on a whole new meaning now the person listening had dramatically evolved. It may have not been "new" per say, but it was most definitely emes. It definitely reached into the core of my being and made me realize why I had come so far in the first place: I want a relationship with Gd.

My school year at Ateres Naava had ended a few weeks ago. I finished a long school year, unsure if I was happy or sad. The classes were nice but not at my intellectual level (can anyone ever really beat Neve Yerushalayim?). But the teachers were in an incredible league of their own and the girls at my school were sweet as sugar and as interesting and diverse as could be. Once my school was over, I left Brooklyn pretty quickly. I regretfully quit my job in Boro Park (amusingly, the same place that sent me running from all the "crazy religious people" only months before). I also started and completed a beautiful mural in one of my teacher's backyards.

Brooklyn was not exactly my scene, but I am sure it was a great blessing. It enabled me to travel all over the place, especially home to Jersey. I stayed connected to my closest friends from high school and have a whole new appreciating for where I grew up. One day, I was walking down the dew-laden street at six am to catch the train to school. The air was warm and sticky and the sunrise was sweeping the sky, turning the leaves on treetops golden and the horizon pink. A stork flew over the sky and, like a kite, gracefully floated down into the river. I'm not sure any other moment captured my appreciation for the beautiful area I had grown up in, more, than that moment. Yesterday, my best friend from third grade came for a visit. We traversed our old stomping grounds (the park and apartment complex where he lived). We swung on the swings remembering the stories of more adventurous days. We inspected the trees we used to climb and the branches we broke. I envisioned the stick wars in the parking lot and the annual biking trip to "Death Hill". Names were rolling off my tongue that haven't been mentioned in years. Some, in half a decade or more. We had a beautiful childhood. We had an absolutely beautiful childhood.

This week, I have come to appreciate so many things that I sometimes do not take adequate time to reflect on. I have had a wonderful childhood in a wonderful area. I had an amazing and varied education in public school, high school in Israel, and two years of seminary. I have forged new and strong relationships and fixed old ones. I have also explored my relationship with Gd and myself. All in all, this year came with many, many personal challenges. I made it through all of them and appreciate every nisayon (challenge) and hurdle that has come to me thus far. This next year, I am going to another year of seminary in Jerusalem and really cannot wait to get back to Israel.

After taking a real hard look around me this week, I am not running away from anything. I am not going to Israel to run off to join the army, to escape my life, or hide my identity. I am going to Israel to undertake an intense year of learning to enhance my knowledge and prepare me for a bright and beautiful future. I end this blog with a blessing for everyone who has been kind enough to follow me through my journey:

I pray that you find direction and meaning in everything you do. I pray that you recognize what you have and what you've accomplished, as well as who you are and what you're capable of achieving. May Gd bless you with goodness and may He help you in your struggles. Lastly, I pray that you search and find Truth in everything.