L.I.V.E.

While my life has been uneventful, hence a lack of blogs, I had an exciting opportunity to go to the Ohr Naava shabbaton in Stamford, Massachusetts. There, I attended shiurim and a beautiful shabbos with classmates and women from all around. Luckily, I ran into a friend whom I had met at my first orthdox shabbos! I also ran into a friend from my seminary from last year. What a small world.

Over the last few weeks, I have felt an internal struggle with stagnation. When your new to anything it is exciting and fresh. But now I have been religious about a two years, I feel boredom and lackadaisical. It is a constant battle to keep myself enthused and motivated to continue forward. It also doesn't help that I have been struggling with personal matters in addition to religious ones. When the world feels like it's getting too small and too dark, it only takes a little Torah to light up the way. The shabbaton and fascinating conversations were the answer to my prayers. I feel refreshed and ready to continue.

Surprisingly, however, was the inspiration I found within myself. A friend who is big into emunah (faith) and inspirational stories asked to share my "story" with a few of her friends. What started as a small crew of two or three quickly ended up a massive group of 25 women! While I can't say I find my story particularly interesting among the fascinating "ba'al teshuva stories", I can understand how someone seeking out an observant life is cool to hear. But, lucky for me, I felt like I made an impact on some of the listeners. In fact, I ended up with a handful of questions. Later, a few girls approached me to tell me they loved my story and said I should become a professional speaker. Flattered, I wondered about what my story really involved and how people perceived the coincidence and luck.

The hand of Gd (what I attribute my constant luck and coincidence) is quite a strong force. I also recognized the people who helped me along the way (some completely behind the scenes and others, comically, pushing and shoving me along the way). Additionally, I remembered the amazing opportunities I was presented with growing up. Through the telling of my own story, I was refamiliarized with the important people in my life. I also became aware of how far I have come. Looking into the future has been a frightening undertaking for me as of recent, but I see the road I am going down and I am so pumped to continue! This last weekend felt like getting pulled out of the mud and sent into the future on eagles' wings.