Parshas Va'eira: The Plague of Happiness

I wrote this for my school paper, but I liked it so I decided to share:

The Plague of Happiness

Aviva Morris

I was sitting on the couch with my friend from high school this past weekend and we were talking about motivation in life. Luckily, after becoming religious, I remained close with many friends from high school and one had asked me, going along with my whole new “religious shtick”, what motivated me? I said I was once asked if I was happy being miserable. Happy being miserable may seem like a foreign concept, but many people are content staying the way they are: miserable. When I really took a minute to think about if I was truly happy or if I was just content to be miserable, I underwent an internal search for happiness.

With this new found insight and quest, what really hit me like a brick is when I actually found my happiness! I found it by saying Modeh Ani everyday. When we wake up and thank Gd for everything we have, we focus on the positive and are grateful. Gratefulness, to me, is true happiness.

The same day my friend asked me about my motivations and view on happiness, I sat down to read this week’s parsha, Parshas Va’eira. Reading about the plagues, I found the way some of the plagues were carried out a bit curious. In two instances, with the blood and lice, Hashem said to Moshe “tell Aaron.” Why didn’t Hashem tell Moshe to carry out these plagues but, instead, instruct Moshe to tell Aaron to do it? Here is where the theme of gratefulness popped up again.

The river that protected Moshe as an infant was going to be turned to blood. Instead of Moshe inflicting the plague on the river that once saved him, eighty years prior, Hashem commanded Aaron do it instead. In the instance of the lice, Hashem commanded Moshe tell Aaron to strike the dust of the land so that it may turn into lice. This is the same dust of the earth that once hid the Egyptian man that Moshe had killed in Parshas Shemos. Rashi explains that the Torah is telling us that Moshe should not be the one to carry out these plagues in order to display gratitude. Gratitude, mind you, to an inanimate river and dust. How, then, can we not be grateful to the Gd that created us, took us out of Mitzrayim, gave us Torah, and set us free?

There were many things going on in this parsha, but I found that gratefulness was what I really took to heart. We often know to thank Gd and our parent’s for the “big things” like life and substance, but we really need to focus in on the “rivers and dust” in our lives. Then we will, bizrat Hashem, be plagued with happiness by choosing gratefulness over contentment. 

What's a Jew Anyway?

I had an assignment in college to write about the variances among the Jewish population. As I was writing, I realized I was waiting to write a blog on Jews who practice other faiths (such as Buddhism, Christianity, or are atheist) and I figured I'd kill two blogs with one post! I wrote for my assignment:

          I am a ba’alas teshuvah (I became religious) making my observation of the Jewish community a little more varied then most people. In America, I grew up Reform, going to Reform Hebrew schools and youth group events. During middle school, I went to a Conservative shul where I had my bat mitzvah (right of passage into adulthood). In Israel, at age fifteen, I lived and identified amongst the more mizrachi sect of the population (non-religious traditional/religious Zionist). On my return to America, I studied at Hebrew Union College (the Reform rabbinical school in NYC for a high school program), when I decided to drop Reform Judaism and become religious. My senior year of high school I was involved with Chabad (an orthodox-lubavitch sect). Then on my return to Israel, I went to a Haredi (Ultra-orthodox/”black hat”) school with Modern Orthodox students. Honestly, I’d like to say I’ve seen it all, but I have only experienced a fraction of the types of Judaism out there. Judaism is often minimalized as the religious, non-religious, and country of origin, however this is so misleading I cannot begin to explain.  

          According to my unique perspective, I have gotten the chance to share what Judaism is to many “outsiders”. In fact, three days ago, I was telling my Spanish coworker, Jose, who works with me in a kosher supermarket, what Judaism is! I explained it as simply as I could: Judaism is a Nation. We are one nation. We (the Jews) are all descendants from Avraham HaIvri (Abraham, the patriarch) and over time we lost our land and were dispersed. You are Jewish if you are born to a Jewish mother, whether you like it or not. There are Christian Jews, Arab Jews, Muslim Jews, more often then not, Buddhist Jews. There are agnostic and atheist Jews and B”H (Thank Gd) there are plenty of Jewish Jews. There are Black Jews, European Jews, Middle Eastern Jews, and lots and lots of Spanish Jews. There are converts to Judaism and there are Ba’alei Teshuvah (people who return to religious Judaism). Even within the orthodox Jewish population, there are as many “types” of Judaism as there are poskening (ruling on a Jewish law) Rabbis! 

While my summary of who/what Jews are was pretty brief, I decided instead of giving the world another long-drawn out lecture about how I see Judaism, this assignment would do the trick. 

Now that I have hopefully banished the notion that Judaism is a religion (If your still in doubt, why can non-Jewish people believe in Judaism ("the Noahides") and still not be Jewish? Also, if you are Jew, that doesn't mean you practice Judaism, which is the case with a buddhist and Christian Jew or even just a simple Russian or American secular Jew). I believe Judaism is a nation. 

After studying secular Jewish History (on EIE in Israel during 2009), college level European and World histories (in high school), Middle Eastern history (as an independent study my senior year, with the inclusion of a thesis paper),  and finally, after studying Torah and religious Jewish history, I feel I have a very well researched and credible opinion in this matter. If my opinion may not strike someone as "professionally" credible, I beg to reevaluate their judgement due to the amount of specific and detailed research on the topic that I have undertaken. However, I'll state it wether you believe me on the basis of my work or not: Judaism is a very unique type of nation. 

In the words of Winston Churchill, "Some people like Jews and some do not; but no thoughtful man can doubt the fact that they are beyond all question the most formidable and the most remarkable race which has ever appeared in the world." His quote does nothing for my thesis (Jews are a nation, not a race or religion), but keep in mind this was during the time of WWII where "racial" and ethnic cleansing were taking place in Germany. I will not fight over semantics. What I intend to say is one of the greatest minds of the past generation agrees that Jews are unique. I want to address that this unique quality comes from what I think makes us a nation. 

Judaism is not a nation in the sense that we are a "pure" ethnic group where where we are all binded by our common ancestry (Abraham). If this were the case, where would there be a place for Middle Eastern Jews, Spanish Jews, European Jews, Black Jews, and Asian Jews? And would that, then, make the descendants such as Ishmael (Arabs) and Esav (Edomites) Jews? This is why I disagree with Mr. Churchill, that we Jews are not a unified and single race.

Even still, we are also not a Nation-State. A nation-state is defined by a ruling government over an ethnically or culturally homogeneous group. Even though we are connected to the land (Canaan) Gd promised Abraham's descendants (in which we only received 400 years later, after the Egyptian exile), Jews would all be "Israelis" if this were the case. Oh, and I'm not talking about 1948 State of Israel, I am talking about 1100 BCE Kingdom of Israel.  Instead, we were bound as a nation in a very different manner and here is where I ask you follow me to my last word. 

I believe that Jews are a Torah-nation. Being an orthodox Jewish Jew, most people would think that this is another religious stint. Nonetheless, logically, Torah is the only thing that binds every single Jew. We live and dedicate ourselves to different countries. We dress differently, eat differently, and all-around live differently. However, if you are a Reform Jew (who believes the Torah was man-made) or an Orthodox Jew (who believes it was Gd-given), you are giving in to the idea that the Torah is integral to our identity. If not, why wouldn't Reform Jews abandon Torah all-together? Those who have abandoned Torah (example: many Germanic Jews during the 19th century) are no longer Jews and have no Jewish descendants. The Jews need Torah (whether you believe it to be True, fable, or complete fiction). Once Torah is lost, so are the Jews. For example, there is a famous quote, by Ha'ad Haam, "More than the Jews have kept the Sabbath, the Sabbath has kept the Jews." 

Furthering this statement, in an article posted on Ynetnews in November 2011, Melvin Konner attributed the survival of the Jewish nation to two of our mitzvos (commandments), bris milah (circumcision) and taharat ha'mishpacha (family purity laws), which to Konner is consistent according to Darwin's theory of natural selection and evolution. Among the Sabbath, circumcision, and laws concerning family purity (separation between husband and wife during the time of niddah), lays the reason integral to our survival: Torah.

At the end of Konner's article he writes, "I don't think we would have survived as a people without the Torah," he says. "Even though every generation has people like me, who draw away from observing the Torah's mitzvot, it remains the core of the Jewish people... In Israel today you can be completely secular without affecting your Jewish identity. In the Diaspora there is no such thing. In recent generations, secular Judaism has been a way out of Judaism. But three things have allowed the existence of the Jewish people in the past, and in the future: The people, Torah and God."

So what's a Jew anyway? A Jew is born to a Jewish mother (Deuteronomy 7:3-4 - We see that by Gd saying "They will turn your son away", we come to understand three halachot/laws, one of them is the establishment of matirilinial descent.). We also now know what Judaism is NOT. It is not only a religion, it is not just a nation, and it is most definitely not a nation-state comprising of Israel (the land or country). What Judaism is, is a Torah-Nation. One nation united, divided, and defined by Torah 

2013: Why Have One Resolution When You Can Have a Theme?

Good news! The world didn't end! But I guess that is not so surprising for the most of us...
I hope everyone had a happy and safe new year.

While there are so many good topics I want to talk about, I decided to bring up the old and boring idea of a New Year's resolution. While I didn't really celebrate the New Year (I already had one this last September), I did take the chance to think of a theme: Reflection.

Instead of doing what most people do, I did not briefly reflect on this past year and make a resolution to change something in the new year. My "resolution" was literally to "reflect" for 2013. So many times we live life and don't really recognize what is happening to us. I cannot tell you how many weeks have gone by, where shabbos comes and goes and I wonder "What happened to my week?!" I find shabbos is intended to separate the holy from mundane (in a literal sense because shabbos is the day to connect to the high physical and spiritual levels). However, shabbos serves a very practical purpose. It is one day of the week we can't distract ourselves by meaningless t.v. and text-message conversations comprising of "wats^" and "lol" (I think the "wats^" just outdated myself a little, do people still use that?). Instead, we have to be with the people we are with (shocking) and take time to reflect what has actually happened to us in the previous week. But even with shabbos, many people are clever enough to avoid this self-reflection.

In this new year, I want to be more reflective. I want to make each day jam-paced and meaningful, but in a conscience and well-thought out way. I don't want to be burdened with menial tasks, I wanted to be gifted with detailed and specific goals.

In Mesilias Yesharim (Path of the Just) we just learned a section in the second or third chapter that says no one could sin if they just took a second to stop and think. Now, whether you believe in Gd and the idea of sinning or not, it is a good thing to keep in mind. If people would just take a second to stop and think about what they are doing, I think the world would be a much brighter, more meaningful, more productive, happier place.

I hope 2013, and every year after that, is filled with positive vibes, meaningfulness, and a sense of peace that comes with reflection and conscience effort.

Celebrating Christmas the Non-Orthodox Way

For all the good Jews out there, most people spent today, Christmas, with their family and saw a new movie and ate tasty Chinese food. This year, unlike all the times in my past, I did not. No, it wasn't because I didn't think of a good movie to see. And, no, there are plenty of kosher Chinese places around me in Brooklyn. So why didn't I celebrate Christmas like a Jew is supposed to? Well, actually... I did....

This year instead of going out with friends (or family) and going to see a movie and eat Chinese, I celebrated Christmas the traditional way- by observing nittil. Nittil is when European Jews abstain from learning Torah on Christmas Eve until Christmas morning. In Europe during the Christmas season, Christians would come back from Church and start pogroms, where they killed Jews and beat them, stoned them, and destroyed their homes and properties. If we were caught studying Torah, all the more reason to kill us.

It may be silly to think that I, an American in 2012, would still observe this "nittil" idea, however, after studying Christianity the last few weeks, I have found myself very uncomfortable. This uncomfort has very little to do with Christians; in fact, it has more with the American Jewish population today.

Today, I saw some of my old Rabbis of the Reform movement wishing their friend's a "Merry Christmas" and I saw all of my friends from Jewish camp, Israel, and youth group talking about how they either celebrated Christmas with their Christian family or the "Jewish" way. I am not opposed to being nice to other people from different religions and cultures, but why are we celebrating the day Christians decided to not only convert all idolatrous pagans to Christianity (historically Jesus's birth took place in March/April, but they changed it to the Winter Solstice in December, in order to convert pagans), but also to slaughter Jews left and right for killing their gd?

I may get opposition from many people who say that Christmas is just an American holiday and Christianity isn't like that anymore. I dare these people to look up Canon Law (that is an irrevocable Christian law, which is seen as coming from Gd's mouth himself). It basically states that we, Jews are the Devil and will be punished and oppressed for all eternity to pay for our sins. That's why the Pope didn't stop the Holocaust when he had the chance. Even if you think that it's only the corrupted Pope and the Catholic Church that claims Jews are the Devil, simply look at the New Testament in John 8:39-47 (linked). Many people also misinterpret Protestantism for being more "pro-Jew" then the other Christian sects but Martin Luther himself wrote is his work The Jews and Their Lies, "Wherever you hear a Jew teaching, do not think otherwise than you are hearing a poisonous Basilikus... know, my dear Christians, that next to the Devil you have no more bitter, more poisonous, more vehement an enemy than a real Jew...".

Don't think I am trying to paint the typical Christian as a Jew-hating war-monger. Luckily, in America, most (if not all) the Christians I know are good, sweet-hearted, and loving individuals. And, B"H, they also don't know what their own books reads, for if they did, we would be in huge trouble. My point, however, is why are we, the Jewish people, celebrating Christmas? We should be ignoring it, if not protesting it. But to join in the "merrymaking"? It actually repulses me because on this day literally thousands of Jews have been attacked, killed, and abused because of the holiday. And here I am supposed to celebrate it?

Growing up as an "American", I loved Christmas because it's when EVERYONE was being nice. People gave to charity, more adults smiled, and everyone seemed more upbeat. Even though I also felt very left out when all my friends got a Christmas tree and presents. I told myself, no worries! I'm Jewish, so I get Chanukah instead! I got eight nights of presents and a menorah (also a "light"). But the funny thing is, this Chanukah I learned what the true meaning of it was: anti-Hellenism. Chanukah is a time to be a Maccabee and stand up and protest the surrounding culture. The only person I want to be, today, is me! Rivkah Zissel Aviva Morris, a Jew. And the fact I didn't know Christmas was today made me proud. But it also made me aware of what so many secular Jews truly don't understand: There are so many great and wonderful and beautiful things about being apart of this American nation. We get to finally be ourselves and practice our own religion! Being Jews, starting with Avraham HaIvri (Abraham the Other), we have always challenged the world and remained unique. And now, we get to not only remain unique individuals from Gd's nation, but now we don't have to be oppressed and killed for our beliefs!

And this is why I celebrated nittil this year. I find it tragic that we have come to be like everyone else, celebrating Christmas (even if it is movies and food) and having trees (call it a Chanukah Bush all you like) and fitting in with everyone else because we want to be like them instead of ourselves. I may have celebrated Christmas in a non-orthodox way this year, but I think that is because in the end, I really wasn't celebrating anything at all.

Torah Spin: Desensitization and Social Tolerance

I don't watch the news anymore. I used be absorbed in the news, watching CNN and occasionally FOX and reading five different newspapers from the American New York Times and the Wall Street Journal to the Israeli papers Yedioth Yisroel and  the Jerusalem Post, and even some Arab-world newspapers sporadically. I felt that being informed was vital. As it turns out, the news has gotten progressively more and more sensational and now I can't watch it. In fact, the only reason I found out about the recent school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary, was because I walked into a Dunkin' Donuts with a TV. But that fact I found out about it didn't upset me nearly as much as when the media was clearly exploiting it for viewers.

Nevertheless, the commentary on exploitation has also been pretty killed by secondary media, such as facebook, twitter, and blogs have been concerned. We get it- people die, news exploits it, people react to the unjust exploitation, people try to make stricter gun laws and anti-violent video games, and still, NOTHING GETS DONE! The hipsters and indie underground love talking about the "machine", but they are in an exploitative wave of their own. Why is it the gun industries' fault? The mental illness sector's fault? The violent video-game industries fault? Hasn't any one realized it's all our fault?

Letting our society become desensitized to violence is our problem. Not video games, not movies, not the access to guns, and not the very few and understaffed mental institutions' fault. It's the people who walk into Game Stop and are not throwing up when their ten year old is asking for the new war game.

I just heard a story today of one of my Rabbi's friend's bringing his veteran father to see the movie Saving Private Ryan. In the first scene is the depiction of body parts flying on D-Day. His father walked out of the movie, sat down, and was silent for a full ten minutes. When his son finally got a response, it went something like this: "That's how it looked. That was D-Day." I just want you to imagine what it must be like to see your friends, comrades, brothers being blown up. Body parts flying, heads being blown off. No man can go into war with out ending up insane, if even only temporarily.

Let's talk about war in the Torah. There is a concept of "Yafeh Toar." While I will not get into the gritty details of this law, the reason rape on the battle field will not be prosecuted by Torah Law is not because it's abhorrent (which it makes clear). It's because you cannot try a man who was temporarily insane. War makes people insane. Who wants to bring insanity into their home?

I'm not worried about my friend's playing Nazi Zombies or Call of Duty and then going out to shoot someone. That is ludicrous. But the fact that people can play it and think their sense of morality is intact IS INSANE. War brings insanity, if it doesn't, you are desensitized. People can tell me that it isn't real war, so insanity can't possibly apply. I bet you the veteran father didn't think what he was seeing was real either. Reality is up to the idividual's perception.

The Jews got Torah on Mt. Sinai 3,300 years ago. During this time there was a very small group of people who commit a grave sin: idolatry. Gd literally just took them out of Egypt, with his own hand, and a group of Jews had the nerve to make a golden calf, chat ha'egel. The sin of the golden calf was momentous. The Levites slaughtered everyone involved (about 3,000 people). However, it is noted that the Jews suffer today for the sin. Every time we have great joy, not everything goes according to plan. Why would we, the non-involved (remember there was some 3 million people, 3,000 is 0.1% of the entire nation), be punished for something that happened 3,300 years ago and didn't even involve a fraction of us?! It's because WE WERE ALL HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR LETTING IT HAPPEN.

This idea of social tolerance does not need to be as wide-spread as the school shootings. What happened to Kitty Genovese, or, more recently, to Ki-Suck Han (who got pushed on the subway)? Were people on the platform so removed and comfortable seeing someone in distress that they would do nothing? It makes me scream: WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO OUR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY?!

Tolerance of this behavior is what happened to our social responsibility. Columbine shouldn't have happened. But now that it has, Virginia Tech should of never been a thought in our mind, forget Sandy Hook Elementary. Every one wonders how we could stop it. And I can tell you: stop telling people violence, in any form, is okay. And that is hard.

Tell people when they are playing a violent video game it's disgusting. What is so wrong with telling someone that killing someone (real or virtual) is nauseating? I think people are afraid to use that word. Forget about the word "wrong." I don't even think "wrong" exists in American Society once you leave math class. If every one is right, tell me why killing children is wrong? The pathway to hell is paved with good intentions. And "inherently good-intentioned people," who think killing some groups of people is "good," are acceptable in American society!... As long as they don't take action. Shouldn't this be the definition of wrong? Or is that just me?

In America, being a consenting adult gives you licence to do what ever you want. And I am not talking about gay marriage here, I'm talking about R rated movies, gun and car licenses, and even the age of consent. Age in America tells people now that they have lived a certain number of years, they can do what they please. In the fine print, America is telling you now that you are older, nothing will effect you.

People need to step up and tell the world if their going to smoke three packs a day, they are going to die. If they drink a handle to themselves, they are going to die. If they desensitize themselves to violence, they will die. They will die if they go to the movies. They will die if they go to high school, and now, they can die if they go to elementary school. They will die if they walk outside too late at night. They'll die. Just like not every smoker dies from smoke, not ever desensitized member of society dies from violence. But their chances of survival continues to wane.

Violent video games isn't the only socially acceptable type of violence. Guns are most often used and protected legally by hunters. I don't care that hunting is socially acceptable, the idea of killing a living being for game is abhorrent. If you kill for food, have fun! But don't think that it doesn't affect your sense of morality. If you own a gun to show off to your buddies, have fun. But never forget that this is a tool to kill. That is what it was made for and that is what it is meant for. And when it goes off accidentally and kills someone, why are we surprised? There was an incident recently where a tiger or lion attacked a small boy and killed him. People thought killing the tiger would bring justice. If a tiger is born to kill, why is it punished when it kills? It was the zoos fault for not making the cage taller, not the tiger's. With guns, the same things goes, it's not the gun's fault for killing someone but it IS societies fault for letting people keep this figurative tiger in their homes.

The reason violence happens in our society is because it is allowed. I feel that if people would stop numbing themselves to violence through entertainment (movies, video games, hunting, ect) school shootings will stop. But to tell someone what they are doing is wrong has become taboo in American society. I think Sandy Hook is just another shooting in a sea of many to come. Hopefully people will start to wake up and say that violence needs to stop. All violence need to stop NOW.

What Am I Doing?

What am I doing? I ask that almost every single day when I wake up and say Modeh Ani (the prayer for being thankful for waking up), get dressed (where are my jeans?!), when I eat (is this ha'adama or ha'eitz?), and even when I come out of the bathroom (I am always missing a word or two in Asher Yeztar- The prayer thanking Gd for a functioning body). Just like Gd recreates the world every day, I am constantly accosted by the realization I am recreating myself. Unlike most people, however, my "recreation" isn't staying the exact same with a slight twist. Eg: I am not doing what I normally do plus driving to Shul one Friday out of the month; or deciding that maybe I'll avoid bacon from now on. I literally changed my dress, my language, my surroundings, and my outlook on life.  And these things, like everything else, aren't "permanent" fixtures. Every single time I say Modeh Ani or Asher Yetzar or eat food, I am making an active decision, a "choice" per say. When was the last time you looked into your closet and decided if you were wearing what you were because you "like it" or because it was in style? Or you eat what you eat because you enjoy it or because it was cheap and available? What about your language? Do you speak a certain way (slang or otherwise) because you chose to or because it's automatic? How about where you live?! I'm not asking these questions in order to go on my "do you live your life or let it just happen to you" rant. I'm asking them because at the end of the day, I am amazed how I am able to recreate myself... but at the same time I wonder: What am I doing?!

What I am doing often comes along with the realization, who am I doing it for? While deep in my heart I know I have changed and undertook a constant path of growth for myself, I often throw in the towel and say "I'm doing it for Him." Him being Hashem. Many people may scratch their head, because it would seem more logical for me to have done it for the opposite motives (Him on the deep level, and myself for the superficial). Nevertheless, I still have a lot to grow religiously and this is the reason: I still miss a lot from my past. I miss some of the friends I have become estranged from ( because I'm now "weird"(-er)). I miss lots of the things I used to do. I miss waking up and throwing on jeans and a t-shirt and eating what ever and where ever I felt like eating. I miss doing what ever I pleased. I miss a lot more then I really should.

When I comes down to it, I am happier now then I was in the past. Correction, I am now happy. Before, I was unhappy and felt life was meaningless and pointless and I didn't really want a part of it. While I used to throw on jeans, I never really liked what I wore. I did it because I could blend into the background, unnoticed, and comfortable. Now, I like what I wear and look much more put-together. To my mother's elation, I also look much more feminine (try looking like a boy in a skirt!). When I eat, it may not be convenient, but every time I eat I feel special. Seriously! I started keeping kosher (I'll admit it: kosher style) when I got back from Israel at sixteen years old. I wasn't observant in the slightest, but by keeping kosher style, I felt Jew-ish at least three times a day. Now, debating between what hecsher (kosher certification) I should hold by or if I should become Cholov Yisroel (a kosher stringency concerning dairy products), I not only feel "Jewish" I am purposely declaring that is exactly what I am. I am Jewish and this makes me special! This, though, is mostly internal.

When I am doing a commandment, I am doing it for Gd's sake even though I know it's "good for me". If Gd came to me today and told me that I could eat bacon, wear whatever I liked, and get a tattoo, you best believe I'd be sitting in a tattoo shop with a cheeseburger, wearing jeans and a short-sleeve t-shirt, in twenty minutes flat. Actually, scratch that, I know the person at the tattoo place down the street- I could make it there in five. Point is, I often ask myself what am I doing?! And I answer: I'm doing what Gd wants me to do. But deep down inside, I know I'm doing what makes me happy and fulfilled. I can't believe I'm the person I am. I wish I could go back to the eighth grade version of myself and say, "Hey YOU! Look! We are amazing!" Because I, honestly, feel amazing. Every detail of my life has meaning. What more could I ask for? What more could I want?

What more could any one need?

I've Got the Whole World In My Hands

I'm sitting here eating a bag of party/trail mix, blasting some Ben Harper (can I used the term "blasting" to define folk-rock, or should I keep that term for my post-hardcore music?), looking for my lip ring, avoiding homework, and informally wondering about the world.

About half an hour ago, my brother and I had a nice conversation about the Orthodox Community and how it just keeps getting smaller and smaller. As we hang up, I check my email to get a message from a nice lady who thought I (and you- my readers) would appreciate her new book (a little shameless advertising for others doesn't hurt!): Becoming Frum: How Newcomers Learn the Language and Culture of Orthodox Judaism (Rutgers University Press, Nov. 2012:  http://becomingfrum.weebly.com/index.html). So, I clicked in the link, and, unsurprised, my BROTHER is on the cover of that book. I mention, unsurprised, because it was so perfect it was beyond coincidental!

I sat down and read some of the book's excerpts online and started to laugh. How perfect does this world run? Here I am, writing a blog that had transformed from a mere daily diary to avoid repeating myself to both my parents and extended family... and now it's read by my family, friends, and complete strangers from America to Israel to Germany (-yeah, I was surprised about that one too). While reading this book's excerpts, it was talking about religious/cultural ties. My last blog dubbed "Unorthroprax" was explaining the often sixth-grade-level awkwardness while trying to enter the religious community and "fit in." The blog your currently reading, "Perpetually Perplexed," is supposed to be about how, despite my new found "Yeshivish (English/Hebrew/Yiddish)" lingo and tznius (modest) attire, I still stick out like a sore thumb in the religious community, still on my quest to grow religiously and personally. Her book, Becoming Frum, was talking about these very same things, only in a more scientifically researched way.  But, nonetheless I thought it newsworthy to write about because if you think maintaining who you are when all your trying to do is change is easy, become a Baal Teshuva!!!

Otherwise, I was going to go off topic and rant about some cool torah-thoughts I heard recently, but I have psychology papers to write before midnight, so expect some soul/body connections soon!